Cancer Patient Again!

Knowing that my Mother and Grandfather (moms dad) both passed away from the big C (cancer). It isn't easy knowing that i could be next..I accept it more but man that freaking blows. Shit i don't wanna die no time soon, it's crazy i was just discussing my funeral arrangements with my middle son and he totally bugged out and i thought i better not have this talk with him,he can't even fathom the thought..dang i wonder if they know how i feel..who wants to die at a young age..my mom passed from ovarion cancer and she was only 45. I'll be 44 this year,(I hope everything works out for me,I have a new dream and that is comedy, I want to be somebody,i'm hella funny and very honest and bold).I haven't started all the testing yet,but i am ready to get started..as far as we know rite now..i don't have an aggressive type. so i pray its in the early stages everyday,before this roller coaster ride begins. I told my docs i really don't want no chemo..man that shit is horrible..they literally take you to the brink of death,to bring you back and everything is all outta of wack..it took forever for that sick feeling and my nerves in my feet to get back to normal. Yea this is my second bout, I'm Breast Cancer Survivor, I was in remission for 21/2 yrs..until last week. I knew something wasn't rite when i was spotting for 7 days straight and i hadn't had a period in 2yrs..You see i had my ovaries taken out rite after my breast were removed and i be damned,If it didn't show up anyway. I have always had it ruff..its crazy how some ppl never ever get sick and just has it made. I don't trip about it but damn it sure crosses my mind here and there.

That's me in the back with the big afro puffs,Me and my cousins and friends. I look to be about 8 or 9 yrs old..i'm a 70's baby.